Wednesday, August 21, 2013

A Dose of Reality

So, after yesterday's happy cheery post, I felt like I should let you in on what is really going on in my brain. At the beginning of last week, my grandpa was moved into a hospice center and taken off dialysis and as you can imagine it has been pretty downhill since then. My emotions have been all over the place and my time is so limited right now, I don't quite know what to do with myself. The center he is in takes about an hour to get to round trip, and I've gone out there everyday since he's been there so that I can try to spend as much time as possible with him while he's still here. It's also been great seeing my family every day and remembering all the fun times papa has brought to our lives. But, this has left literally not a minute of time for wedding planning, blogging, gym, studying for my certification, or a fun thing I once knew- relaxation.

Vegas was a blast and it was amazing spending time with friends, but it was a quick fix and when we got back not only was reality right there waiting, but so was some sort of stomach bug/hangover/ my body not functioning at all. I'm finally feeling better after 2 days of not being able to eat anything which is so weird for me, and realistically I know I've lost muscle my body is going to freak out now that I'm eating again. I always feel like my physical body suffers so much when the mental part is out of whack.



I hate being a complainer (especially when I know how good I have it, and trust me I don't take a single moment of my life for granted), but I also hate when things slip through the cracks and I feel like there are so many cracks everywhere in my life right now it's hard to keep up with everything.

I haven't prepped food, I haven't been to the gym in over a week, and I feel like there is not a chance I'm going to be ready to take the NASM certification in a month. I kinda want to scream but instead I'm going to just pull it together. Today, I feel like my head is finally screwed on straight (well, kinda) and I'm going to prep some food, get a plan of attack together for getting back to the gym and getting my routine back. I know it's not going to be perfect and I might not be able to fit everything in that I want to, but I'm just going to try my best because well, that is all I can do. 

I'm not perfect. Crazy, weird, sad, stuff happens to me too. Just because it seems like I have it together most of the time, doesn't mean sh*t doesn't go haywire every once and a while. 

So, to answer the emails and messages asking if I'm going to stop blogging, the answer is absolutely not. I may need a little time to get back into my groove, but it will happen and I have some really exciting stuff that is going to start happening at the end of the year, so you're not getting rid of me that easily ;) 

Thank you all for being so loyal and concerned, I really appreciate it  more than you know! PS- Check out Get Fit Magazine if you haven't already, super cool issue this month :)

25 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. *Big hugs*

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  2. Sorry to hear about your G'pa.
    Hope you feel better and get back to routine soon!
    I took the NASM exam last week (PASSED!) Don't stress over it too much... Did you do eTeach?

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much and no, I didn't! Just me and the book ;)

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    2. Do you have access to the practice exam?

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  3. I am so so sorry to hear about your grandpa. Thinking of you this week.

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  4. Sorry to hear about your grandpa. Always a difficult thing.

    I do hope you'll read this article which was shared by Layne Norton. This article came on the heels of me throwing out everything I thought I've learned in the past year. You may find it incredibly helpful and useful and something to seriously consider.

    http://impruvism.com/clean-eating/

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  5. So sorry to hear about your grandpa. And we all have those times where things in our routine are all out of whack but you totally have the right attitude of just pulling it together and moving forward!

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  6. Take all the time you need. It will only benefit you and your well being in the end. Take baby steps to get back in gear. Before you know it, you'll be back to where you want to be!

    Keeping positive thoughts for you and your family.

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  7. Thinking about you and sending you positivity!

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  8. You are human! I actually love this post. We have to allow our whole self, mental and physical, the time it needs to heal. I am so sorry at what you are going through and I can relate 100%. Thank you for having the courage to share your reality with us.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading! I try to keep it real and be as transparent as possible.

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  9. Sending comfort and prayers to you and your grandfather. We cannot always be in control of every aspect of our lives no matter how much we try, sometimes you have to let God take control. I totally know what you mean about the mind and body connection. Stress turn my stomach out of control!

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  10. Sending positive thoughts and love your way girl! Sorry to hear about your grandpa! I know from personal exp. that outside stresses like that can really cause mental and physical stress too! You are normal too! And you are exactly right, it will take time but soon enough you will be back in the swing of things :) Do the best you can and everything will fall into place!

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  11. Girl I am the queen of cracks right now, you don't even know. I am thinking about you and your papa and praying for the best. I think you still look amazing despite the way you feel. Do what you can right now and don't stress. I have learned to take it one day at a time rather than look at the big picture/so far into the future. It's easier to take baby steps and just get through the 24 hours in front of you rather than stress about what things will be like in one week/one month/one year from now. I'm just a text away if you ever need anything. And thank you for your message today. I responded...hope you got it. You really made my day. xoxo.

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    1. I did! Sorry, I thought I did respond! But yes, baby steps are going to be the key (which is so hard for me!). Don't ever hesitate to text me either :)

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  12. Sorry to hear about your Gramps - we all need to hit the "reset" button once in a while. It just lets us know we're human. Prayers for you and your family during this difficult time. Things will be ok Little B!

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  13. take the time with your grandpa because everything else in life you can get back (right now at least) this time you can't. i wish i had spent more time with my grandma right before she passed, i would give ANYTHING to give her a hug and a kiss one more time. hope you are doing ok HUGS!!!

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  14. Losing a grandpa is the hardest thing. So sorry to hear about this. You and your family are definitely in my prayers!

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