A Dose of Reality

So, after yesterday's happy cheery post, I felt like I should let you in on what is really going on in my brain. At the beginning of last week, my grandpa was moved into a hospice center and taken off dialysis and as you can imagine it has been pretty downhill since then. My emotions have been all over the place and my time is so limited right now, I don't quite know what to do with myself. The center he is in takes about an hour to get to round trip, and I've gone out there everyday since he's been there so that I can try to spend as much time as possible with him while he's still here. It's also been great seeing my family every day and remembering all the fun times papa has brought to our lives. But, this has left literally not a minute of time for wedding planning, blogging, gym, studying for my certification, or a fun thing I once knew- relaxation.

Vegas was a blast and it was amazing spending time with friends, but it was a quick fix and when we got back not only was reality right there waiting, but so was some sort of stomach bug/hangover/ my body not functioning at all. I'm finally feeling better after 2 days of not being able to eat anything which is so weird for me, and realistically I know I've lost muscle my body is going to freak out now that I'm eating again. I always feel like my physical body suffers so much when the mental part is out of whack.

I hate being a complainer (especially when I know how good I have it, and trust me I don't take a single moment of my life for granted), but I also hate when things slip through the cracks and I feel like there are so many cracks everywhere in my life right now it's hard to keep up with everything.

I haven't prepped food, I haven't been to the gym in over a week, and I feel like there is not a chance I'm going to be ready to take the NASM certification in a month. I kinda want to scream but instead I'm going to just pull it together. Today, I feel like my head is finally screwed on straight (well, kinda) and I'm going to prep some food, get a plan of attack together for getting back to the gym and getting my routine back. I know it's not going to be perfect and I might not be able to fit everything in that I want to, but I'm just going to try my best because well, that is all I can do. 

I'm not perfect. Crazy, weird, sad, stuff happens to me too. Just because it seems like I have it together most of the time, doesn't mean sh*t doesn't go haywire every once and a while. 

So, to answer the emails and messages asking if I'm going to stop blogging, the answer is absolutely not. I may need a little time to get back into my groove, but it will happen and I have some really exciting stuff that is going to start happening at the end of the year, so you're not getting rid of me that easily ;) 

Thank you all for being so loyal and concerned, I really appreciate it  more than you know! PS- Check out Get Fit Magazine if you haven't already, super cool issue this month :)